Scott Foster

"My past experience with food and eating were wracked with discomfort and shame to even eat. Eating under the glare of a svelte pretty mother who could not get her chubby red haired wild daughter at all. A life time of never being comfortable to eat without stress. .

 

I mentioned the kitchen was not my friend, neither was food.They both became the object of my hatred.

 It was misplaced hatred. I had no idea what this hatred’s cause was and was hooked onto the belief its all about food. I believed, as most people do, that the food was making me fat. Not true at all. I believed I was allergic to foods. Again not true. All misplaced hatred. 

The brilliance of Scott is that he uses the food as a way into the underlying causes of this hatred by bringing love to food. 

 He is passionate and totally in love with the kitchen, everything I was not. 

 

The first session was challenging to even enter the kitchen. I could happily have sat in a corner and sucked my thumb, like a child. 

 With his gentle loving guidance and simplicity in the kitchen he welcomed me in. Fully aware of how traumatic it was for me. Finally I had found someone who I could share the level of deep distress a kitchen and food were for me. 

The fact was, that even eating anything was a cause of deep distress. 

 

Imagine that every meal you eat is stress riddled. But because I had never found this support. I was not even able to admit to myself how traumatic food was to me.

The only relief I experienced with food was when I ate chocolates or junk food. At that point it felt like some form of relief. 

 There is no doubt it is the same as any addiction.  

My addiction just happened to be chocolates. 

Food was made to be the bad guy. 

 

The amount of head space and anxiety dished out to food, fat and kitchens was enormous. A constant negative dialogue, non stop. 

It was Scott persistent love of the kitchen, his joy in the kitchen and no judgement that invited me into the space.

The fact that I could ask him simple questions as simple as how to boil rice or an egg, that encouraged me to ask more questions. 

 

I was not allowed in a kitchen growing up. I lacked all basic skills. I lacked all skills to nurture myself on any level, bar the hedonistic path I took. 

 Working with Scott has allowed me now to be honest with myself how deep my wounding was. I had no idea, at the extent of the wounding. At no point ever in our sessions would he sugar coat anything. If I needed to be told a truth he was forth coming. His truth would shake me up to look deeper at what I was avoiding. 

 

I also had to learn boundaries and he certainly taught them to me by actually practising them on me. 

My boundary system had been knocked right out of me from an early age . I was like a puppy dog boundless and with no control. 

 I have learnt and I am still learning. I check in with myself now and instead of over riding a discomfort I will honour myself and if need be, cancel appointments. 

 

I am a work in progress ." 

LH 2022